Bears and Memories

On September 8, 2007, I met a wonderful woman. Her name is Karyn Tanner and within twenty-four hours, we were sharing our lives and making memories. I've been thinking about her lot the last few months. She won't be returning to BYU-Idaho with me this summer. She has moved to Utah, starting her own adventure. She has made a huge difference in my life and I love her so much! She is sooooo amazing!! I can't imagine college life without her, but I know the Lord has other plans for her.

I would like to share just a few memories that I have of the last year and a half. As I write this, I am in tears because of the friendship, the sisterhood, we have developed. Yes, that's right, Karyn is my sister and always will be.

I remember many times this last semester and in the month since I've been home when Karyn would just randomly text me lyrics to a song. We've even had lyric wars to see who would run out of lyrics first, which I will admit sometimes I had to resort to Primary songs til I could think of a big person song to sing back to her.

Karyn and I have also started a tradition to waking up the other person with the song Good Morning Beautiful. "Good morning beautiful, How was your night? Mine was wonderful with you.. across the room" often greeted me as I was about to get in the shower in the morning. And as silly as it sounds, it was a cause of great concern when we realized those lyrics were gonna change when I returned to Wisconsin and she went to start her life in Utah. But don't you worry, we adjusted to the distance and now the lyrics "Good morning beautiful How was your night? Mine was wonderful with you in my life" often brings a smile to my face and often starts my morning off to a better start.

I remember when Joe broke up with me, he stayed on the phone and talked to me for a while longer. But the second Karyn walked in that door after class, I dropped that phone and ran to her with tears in my eyes for a big hug. She was the first person I told and the only person I wanted to talk to right then. She has also been there through the Dallin roller coaster and the Mike journey and every up and down in my relationship with Chris. She may not have the same opinion as me about who I deserve but she has always been there to give me a hug, go on a walk with me or just to listen.

Karyn is one of the sweetest girls I have ever met in my life. I know how much Karyn loved the princess bed, but she knew how unhappy I was with the bottom bunk. I would constantly hit my head so our first semester she switched with me. She ended up loving the bottom bunk and we both were happy. Our second semester, she said I could have whatever bed I wanted. Michelle had already claimed the bottom bunk and Karyn didn’t like the top bunk and having to climb on the princess bed to get into hers. But she was more than wiling to let me have the princess bed so I would be happy.

Karyn has experienced a lot of heartbreak the last year. Her parents got in a car accident. Her grandmother had a health scare more than once. Harold broke her heart. Her grandfather had a stroke. Her grandfather died. She is having trouble finding a job. And every time, I was there for her, just like she has always been here for me. Today is her grandfather's funeral. I just really wish I could be there for her instead of half way across the world. She is my best friend and I feel so helpless to her these days.

I remember the night we found out about the accident and her grandmother. Poor girl couldn't stop crying. She was on the top bunk and I was on the princess bed. The second her phone rang and her voice wasn't cheerful and happy anymore, I jumped up (good things I'm short and the roof was tall enough) and gave her the biggest hug and wouldn't let go even though it was awkward and the bed was going into my ribs. None of that mattered, all that mattered was that my Karyn was sad and she needed me.

I told her I was writing her this blog today and I'm hoping that reading it will help her focus on the good things in life and the love that I have for her. I never met her grandfather but from what I have heard about him, he sounds like a great man and I'm sure that he would want his beautiful granddaughter to be happy.

Many times our first semester at BYU-Idaho, Karyn and I would sitting in the living room, just the two of us. She would be reading her scriptures and I would be almost without fail on Facebook. Anyways, Karyn would look up from her scriptures and just share this lightbulb moment she had just had or ask this really profound question. And we would sit there in our pjs and have this amazing, spiritual discussion and our testimonies would grow right there. Those moments are one of the many things I loved about BYU-Idaho and about meeting Karyn. She was never afraid to share her testimony or to share that spiritual experience with me so that we both could grow. She's sooo amazing!!

Of course, not a semester went by when Karyn and I didn't say something funny or stupid or memorable. I would like to share just a few of these:

• "Kar, what would you call the weather outside?" "Poopy..." "Is that like cloudy?" Nicole, Karyn, Nicole's mom

• Kar explains -itis as inflammation and magnum as large. "You're learning that in anatomy? Sounds like a medical class..." Karyn

• "I don't think I'm going to phone my charge tonight." Karyn

• "It'll have eek this wink-end." Karyn

• "The temple is my hot guy..." Nicole

As I mentioned before there has been many heartbreaks over the last year and a half and it became tradition in our apartment to throw your phone across the room. Not sure why we did this since it wasn't the phone's fault the person on the other end was being a turd. I guess it was just therapeutic.

Another healthier solution to the stress of college, the heartbreak of being a young adult and the pain of being far from our families was walking the many blocks uphill to the Rexburg Temple. We would humbly, reverantly walk unto those grounds, go to our little spot and sit down. There was many tears cried there, many prayers answered, lots of hugs given, plans made and friendships strengthened right there many times in those three months of our last semester together.

I'm running out of memories but I just want Karyn to know that she has made a huge difference in my life. A big part of who I am today is because of the influence, the encouragement, the love and the example that she was for me. I feel like I've known her forever and it hasn't even been a year and a half yet. I love her so much and college won't be the same without her there with me. But I know that she will do great things and make a huge difference in the world because look at what she has done to me in such a short amount of time. She is my best friend, my sister, my other half.

She was the first person I tell when my relationships go sour. The first person I told when I got engaged. The first person I told when I broke off my engagement. The first person I go to when something great happens or when life just truly sucks. The first person I go to for advice. The first person I go to for a hug. The first person I met when I started college.

Meeting her was not a coincidence, it was an answer to a prayer and a miracle in my life.

I love you Karyn!!

Best friends by chance and sisters by choice.