Bzz Agent :

I am a Bzz Agent which basically means I get rewarded for reviewing products. The latest product I would like to review is about.me It's a website that is the equivalent of an online business card. You put in your information (biography, website, Facebook url, Twitter, etc.) and then you tell people to check out your about.me page. I don't have a business so this product wasn't of much use to me. I also only have this blog and a Facebook so there wasn't much for me to add. However, I could see the benefits of using it as a company. It is very easy to use and maneuver. I signed up and attached my blog and Facebook in probably five minutes. Not a hard site to figure out at all. As soon as I signed up they also offered me 50 free business cards which would be very beneficial for a company just starting out and needing that little bit of help getting the word out about their company. It's also a wonderful way to get people to look at your about.me and see your qualifications and other information that would persuade them to hire you. Overall I would give about.me a 9 for businesses but a 5 for personal use ... unless you are going to use it to convince girls to date you :-P

Timing Is Everything

Ok, can I just say that the Lord definitely knows how to to get your attention!? Well, today was one of those days where He had to slap me in the face because I just wasn't listening. And haven't been listening for a few weeks..at least about one thing. I have been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too antsy about moving on to the next stage of life. And I would get very jealous and angry when I would hear other people excited about their own lives being taken to the next level.

Well today I was reading Conference and Devotional talks for my Teachings of the Living Prophets class (in which I am waaaaaaay behind in). And what do you know my favorite scripture was quoted right in the middle of one. And do you know what my favorite scripture says?!?!? Well let me tell you in case you were curious... My favorite scripture is Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and it says:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What a wake-up call!! The Lord was telling me "Nicole, it's just not your time. It's not my plan right now. So be patient, breathe. Trust me and in due time, you will be permitted to move forward and feel that same happiness that others are feeling right now."

Well I will be breathing and trusting in the Lord. Because let's be honest, He definitely knows better than me what is best.

Blessed in the Best Ways Possible

I have got to say that I have had an absolutely frustrating and bad week. My car broke, I almost got in a really bad car accident (one that I have no doubt would have put me IN the hospital instead of working there), I got stranded in Minot and had to be towed and wait for Chris and Craig (brother-in-law) come rescue me, I hit broken gravel and had my hub caps (I think that's what they are called...the metal caps in the middle of tires) go flying off behind me, the dogs ran away from me TWICE in the SAME day, Blue was neutered and I have been worried about him pulling out the stitches and had more swelling and redness than is "normal." I have been soooo tired and having to drive about three hours round trip to and from work has not helped my mood this week. Needless to say, I just wanted to climb into my  bed, pull the covers over my head and not see daylight for a while. But that's just not how life is, I have to keep getting up and trying to make today better than yesterday. Especially since my brother-in-law and his family are coming this weekend to stay with us for a week. I need to get my house and myself ready for visitors. But first I needed a little me time so I checked my email and Facebook. I am beyond grateful that some of my friends posted this video:

I am still very emotionally and physically exhausted but I feel a smidge better. I need to focus on the fact that at least Blue and Cocoa are healthy enough to run away from me; that at least I have a vehicle that was getting me to work and a husband and brother-in-law who CAN fix my car and make it all better; that I have a house to clean; that I have family that loves us and wants to spend some time with us. Life may be hard but at least I am still living and breathing. Something that car accident could have very well taken from me. Car accidents are something that we see at the hospital (twice in this week) and so I know how horrible car accidents can be and how much they can take away from the victims. Anyways, I am just grateful that the Lord is watching over me and didn't let anything happen to me yesterday and that I have such wonderful family and friends watching over me.

Side note: This video is even more special to me because it begins with a quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley, my favorite prophet in this dispensation, and then ends with a quote from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, my favorite apostle :-)

Well I guess I should get up and clean for FAMILY :-D

LDS Blog Challenge Day 17

17. A time, if any, when you’ve felt the spirit direct your life.

Oh goodness, I would have to say one of the biggest ones was when I switched my major.  I got to a point in my Business degree where I just wasn't happy anymore, I hated it and I couldn't stand another moment as a Business major.  Ok so maybe that's exaggerated a little but I really didn't like being a Business major anymore.  It was too "worldly" and I just didn't want to be a part of it anymore.  So I started praying and trying to figure out what the next stage of my life was going to be.  I wanted to drop out of BYU-Idaho, return to Wisconsin and take some time to figure it all out.  But my dad would have nothing of that.  He wanted his little girl to get her college degree, whatever it was in.  And he knew that if I left, I might not come back.  So with that helpful encouragement, I took to praying my little heart out.  Anybody who knows me, knows that I love helping people, doing service and that I am a fairly good listener.  It was finally impressed into my heart that I needed to become a Social Work major.  Registration had already been open for weeks but by pure heavenly intervention, I was able to add every single prerequisite that I needed, I was able to go in and switch my major to Sociology until I was admitted into the Social Work program and everything just fell into place.  It was definitely divinely decided that this was what I was supposed to be doing.  I also passed every single one of those prereq's though I struggled with Brother Hay's Intro tests and I struggled even more with Human Biology, which both required a lot of memorization that I froze up on come test day.  And now I couldn't be more happy and I can definitely see that this is where the Lord wants me and what he wants me to do with my life.  I have those skills and knowledge to help people in my career and/or in my personal life.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 16

OK so it is absolutely official that I stink at Blog Challenges.  Eventually I will finish this challenge.  It might just take me three months instead of one..

16. Your favorite story from the Book of Mormon and why.

I feel like I have said this a million times already but I absolutely love the story of the Stripling Warriors.  I think of them as these really strongest men (both physically and spiritually).  What girl doesn't want a good strong man to protect her?  What Mormon girl doesn't want her own Peter Priesthood (to varying degrees)?  They were good guys and had very strong faith and you know what?  The Lord knew that and he protected them because of their righteousness and faith.

Maybe I should tell the story of why I think so highly of these boys/men.  So their fathers (the Ammonites) had made an oath that they would never take up arms again and fight in war.  However, the Lamanites were coming to fight against them.  They wanted to take up arms and protect themselves and their families.  Helaman warned them that this was a bad idea.  They had made an oath and if they broke this oath, they would very well die.  It was at this moment that their sons stepped in:

But behold, it came to pass they had many sons, who had not entered into a covenant that they would not take their weapons of war to defend themselves against their enemies; therefore they did assemble themselves together at this time, as many as were able to take up arms, and they called themselves Nephites.

And they entered into a covenant to fight for the liberty of the Nephites, yea, to protect the land unto the laying down of their lives; yea, even they covenanted that they never would give up their liberty, but they would fight in all cases to protect the Nephites and themselves from bondage. (Alma 53:16-17)

They were strong men who knew they had to help up and made an oath to do whatever it took in order to protect their family and home.  Helaman and Antipus came up with a very trick plan to get the Lamanities to come out and fight which you can read about in Alma 56:30-36.  But the real amazing part is that of the ten thousand warriors, "there had not one soul of them fallen to the earth; yea, and they had fought as if with the strength of God; yea, never were men known to have fought with such miraculous strength; and with such mighty power did they fall upon the Lamanites, that they did frighten them; and for this cause did the Lamanites deliver themselves up as prisoners of war" (Alma 56:56).

They fought another battle which you can read about in Alma 57 and again out of the two thousand sixty (sixty more had joined since the last fight), two hundred were minorly wounded but NONE were killed.  Wanna know why?!?  Because of the "miraculous power of God, because of their exceeding faith in that which they had been taught to believe—that there was a just God, and whosoever did not doubt, that they should be preserved by his marvelous power" (Alma 57:26).

Back in Chapter 53, it talked about their strength and courage.  This is where the "every girl wants a strong man to protect her" comes in..

And they were all young men, and they were exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all—they were men who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted.

Yea, they were men of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him. (Alma 53:20-21)

This leads in to the rest of the story.  This wonderful story wouldn't be complete without mentioning their moms!!!

...they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it (Alma 56:47-48).

Yea, and they did obey and observe to perform every word of command with exactness; yea, and even according to their faith it was done unto them; and I did remember the words which they said unto me that their mothers had taught them (Alma 57:21)

I can only imagine the wonderful examples those mothers must have been.  I know without doubt that they read bedtime stories to their children from the scriptures.  They prayed with their families and their children saw them praying individually.  They taught their children of the Lord and of the great miracles he has performed.  They taught faith both in word and deed.  They were the kind of mom that I hope to be someday.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 15

Sorry guys, I got out of the habit again!!  I will try to do better for the second half.

15. A church leader (priesthood/YW leader, Bishop, or General Authority) who changed your life and how.

Hmm...who has changed my life?  I would have to say Sister Nancy Hansen.

How I will always think of her. The fun loving woman.

This lady is truly, truly amazing.  I love my mom and she was definitely a good example to me growing up.  But I needed a Mormon mom.  And Sister Hansen was more than willing to fill that role for me.  I was always welcome in her home (probably because I was best friends with her daughter) and she was always such an amazing example to me of how to be a good LDS woman, a good mother, a good wife.  And she always believed me and wanted what was best for me.  When I was thinking about getting married civilly, she told me in a very nice and motherly way that she was thinking of me and wanted to remind me of the blessings of a temple wedding.  When I took out my endowments, she was my escort and helped me every step of the way.  Made the whole experience a lot less overwhelming.

Always making time for us girls.

I remember one year at Girl's Camp, they had the parents write their daughters expressing their testimony.  I got a very sweet letter from my second mom expressing her sweet, sweet testimony to me.  It touched my heart then and still does.  I still that letter and when I run across it once in a while, it always brings a smile to my face thinking about this wonderful woman and touches my heart to read her testimony of this wonderful gospel.

She clinked her glass to make us kiss. Turned out to be one of my favorite pictures from that night.

Like I said earlier, she was also a wonderful example of being a strong LDS woman, LDS wife and LDS mother.  She has seven children, biological and in her heart (Rebecca, Tina, Katherine, TJ, Jeremiah, Sean and Madison).  She had a miscarriage as well.  She never talks about it, at least to me so I can only imagine the pain she experienced.  But I can see in her life and in her testimony that it has only made her stronger.  And that is truly inspiring to me.  She never ceases to amaze me.  With seven children, you are sure to have your ups and downs.  But I know she will always love her children no matter what happens or what they do or what decisions they make.  She is an absolutely wonderful mother and I consider myself blessed to be able to call her my second mom.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 14

Today's post will be quick and easy. I don't really have anything TOO insightful for most of today's question.

14. Would you like to serve a mission? Where? If you’ve already served, where did you serve? What does missionary work mean to you?

I have not served a mission and nearly has the sweet husband.  But we are contemplating one as a senior couple.  Which is still forever and a day away but we think it's something we would enjoy doing together.  Since we will be done working by then and not full-time parents (probably), we are very open to serving anywhere in the world that the Church and Heavenly Father need us.

Now what missionary work means to me.  I have a very strong appreciation for missionaries seeing as all of my family including my in-laws are not members.  I can only do so much to show them how wonderful the gospel is.  Eventually I need the Lord and the missionaries to take over.  However, I believe very strongly in every member a missionary.  The missionaries have much more success when we are sharing the gospel but also just being a dang good example of the Saints.  It is very hard for the missionaries to teach the gospel in a positive light when people's first impressions are negative and about horrible people they don't want anything to do with, let alone have anything in common with.

I also love missionaries because of my own missionary currently serving in Salt Lake City (the unofficial North mission).  He has been a dang good example to me his whole life of who I should be.  But since he left on his mission, that has just increased ten-fold.  My baby brother has such a strong testimony and really makes me want to be better and share the gospel with more people.  I mentioned that I am bracing myself for being a member missionary again once I leave Rexburg.  Just mentioned it basically in passing.  Didn't think much of it.  And then my amazing, genius little brother told me to study the Preach My Gospel manual.  "One it gives most of the doctrine of the church in very simple terms and it would help you learn a little better how to share the gospel. And then when you get called to be in some presidency or other big calling you will already know what you need to do to help the missionaries and you can go on splits with the sisters if you ever live around any."  I unfortunately left both of my copies at my mom's house when we moved out here.  So I can't study it right now but Chris and I will be going home sometime this summer to get the rest of our stuff so I should have them back in my possession in just a few months.

Well I think that is all for today. Happy reading and blogging!! :-)

LDS Blog Challenge Day 13

In an effort to avoid homework for a little bit longer and make sure I post today, I am posting now.  Day 13, we are almost half way guys (gals).

13. Which temple is closest to your home, which temple is your favorite, and which temple would you like to get married in? (If you have been married, which temple did you get married in, and was this your first choice?)

The temple that is closest to me is the Rexburg.  It is in the same city and right up the hill.  Unfortunately, I am a slacker and don't go nearly as much as I should.

But I think I will always consider the Chicago Temple as my home temple.  It's where I did 95% of youth baptism trips and where Chris and I were endowed.  Even though it's not my favorite, it will always hold a very special place in my heart.

And if we're being honest, I also always loved the fountain out front.  So, so very beautiful!!

And my favorite temple is definitely Nauvoo which is why I got married there for all time and eternity :-) It holds a lot of historical and personal value.  I just loved going on youth trips there and learning about the Church and it's history there.  I am so very grateful that I got to share that city and temple with the man I love.

(Ignore the less than enthusiastic looks on our faces, it was very hot that day and she didn't warn us she was taking the picture.)

LDS Blog Challenge Day 12

12. What ward do you attend? How has being in that ward changed your life for the better? What callings do you have, what type of friends do you have in that ward, what is your Bishop like, and what do you like most about it?

I am a member of the Brigham Young University-Idaho 11th Married Ward and unofficially of the New Town Branch.  But I haven't been to the branch yet.  So 11th Ward, I will be honest, it has probably been my least favorite ward but it has still been a good ward.  Just struggle being in a married ward without my husband..  The Relief Society president and her husband, the Executive Secretary and also my home teacher, have really taken me under their wings and I have really truly appreciated it.  And also Mrs Courtney Bingham and her husband have made sure I am able to sit next to them at Church and invite me over for Sunday Dinner.

I have had two callings now since I moved into the ward.  When we first moved here in September, I was called as the Relief Society Chorister.  I have to admit I was not as good at fulfilling that calling, or at least didn't magnify it.  Now I am on the Relief Society Enrichment Small Group Committee.  I am definitely working harder on this calling and love it. What a great group of girls.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 11

11. Your favorite character from the Book of Mormon and why?

My favorite Book of Mormon character is definitely Nephi as I mentioned the other day in Blog Challenge Day 6.  Didn't realize this question would be asked later on.  So I will talk about my second favorite "characters."  They are specifically mentioned by name but I absolutely love the Stripling Warrior mothers.

Again, wanting to be a great mom.  But they taught their children all about the gospel that they were extremely faithful and knew that the Lord would watch over them.

Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

I just love, love, love this!!  I want to be that kind of mom that my children will know that whatever situation they are in the Lord is watching over them and will bless their lives.  But I also want to be like those warriors and have that kind of faith!!

LDS Blog Challenge Day 10

So Research Methods is cancelled today so I have plenty of time on my hands to try to catch up since I'm not sure how many days I am behind now on this challenge.  And I have a revived sense of motivation now that I found out people actually read this blog of mine :-)  So Day 10, 11, 12 here I come..

10. Your favorite talk from the last session of General Conference and why?

I know a lot of people think that I am baby crazy but my maternal desires are kicking in now that I am married and I don't think there is anything wrong with that.  I am not having a baby irresponsibly so I can have all the desires I want.  But anyways these desires are leading me to try to develop skills to be a better mommy when a baby does come into Chris and my life.  Therefore, I have found that lately the General Conference talks and Stake Conference talks that relate to parenting at all really stick out to me.

So this last Conference, Sister Rosemary M. Wixom, Primary General President's talk entitled "Stay on the Path" was my favorite this last Conference.  She talked about how parents need to do even the small things to help their children stay on the path and develop good habits.  This quote pretty much summarizes the whole article: "When we are holding tight to the iron rod, we are in a position to place our hands over theirs and walk the strait and narrow path together. Our example is magnified in their eyes."

LDS Blog Challenge Day 9

OK, let's try this again. Here is Day 9 about three days late.

09. Your favorite quote or counsel from a church leader and why (this could be bishops, stake presidents, young men’s or young women’s leaders, or a General Authority. Whatever means a lot to you).

Well as you know from my post the other day, President Gordon B. Hinckley is/was my favorite prophet.  With this in mind, there is two quotes from him that I absolutely love:

"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." 

 and

"Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds."

The first is a quote that my bestest friend in the whole wide world (of the female gender) put on plaque for me for Christmas.  It must have been our first semester together.  And she mysteriously disappeared with Jill for a few hours and came back with Christmas presents for Hannah and me.  I was super excited because well Karyn is amazing and she put a lot of work and effort into them for us.  I had never heard this quote before but once I read it, I loved it.  And I took it to heart, I need to try to enjoy every minute of everyday.  Before I know it, I am going to be into the next stage of life and wondering where the heck the last phase went.

The second is just a quote I really like and one that hasn't nearly touched my heart as much as it should have.  It is a really great quote that should inspire us to work harder and stop being lazy bums.  Something that I am still working on everyday.  Being more productive and getting more out of each day.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 8

Ok, now I owe you three posts. I messed up. I went to the Relief Society activity and was going to catch up on my posts after and instead went to bed totally forgetting about my poor blog until this morning. So here is Day 8.

08. Your favorite woman in the church and why? (Past or present)

I would have to say Emma Smith.  She is truly one of the most inspirational women ever.  I know this isn't something that I should look up to her for but when her parents didn't approve of her marrying Joseph, she agreed to run away with him.  This is technically a character flaw, disobeying her parents but I look at it a little differently.  I think a big part of the reason she wanted to marry him was because of his belief and devotion to what would later become the Church and her large desire to be a part of that great work and be able to support him.  That my friends is admirable.

I also really admire her for her later devotion to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and her unending faith.  I can only imagine the things that this great woman went through.  She lost many of her children without being able to spend much time with them.  Her first son, Alvin (named after Joseph's elder brother who had passed) lived only a few hours. Her twins, Thaddeus and Louisa, also died after just a few hours.  She was blessed to be "given" the Murdock twins, Joseph and Julia, to raise since their mother died giving birth.  But again, tragedy struck when Joseph died of pneumonia when the door was left open when Joseph was dragged out in the middle of the night to be tarred and feathered.  So quick recap, within three years, she has had five children and lost FOUR of them.  How hardbreaking.  I know that it was more common back then to lose children because medicine wasn't as good but still hard, hard, hard.

She also had to endure many periods of time away from her husband, much like me right now.  However, his periods of absence were because of hiding from the law or being incarcerated.  I'm not sure I could ever emotionally handle sorrow like that.  And then add on top of all of this, Joseph's death was when she was pregnant with their last child.  Goodness gracious, the level of sorrow must have been super high.  She was such a young widow, they hadn't been married long and then to be pregnant when you lose your husband!! She was a remarkable woman and I really look up to and admire her.

Ok, I know I stink lately with this blog challenge but I promise one of these days I will catch up.  Just not tonight..

Field Trip but Not to the Zoo

Sorry, I didn't write yesterday. I'm sure all two of my readers missed me very much. It was a very busy day and I just wasn't feeling it last night. Please forgive me. I promise you will get two Blog Challenge posts though to make up for my blogging misdeed. But first a little bit about why I was so busy yesterday.  My Juvenile Delinquency class went to the JCC (Juvenile Corrections Center) in St. Anthony.  Usually when we think of correctional facilities (juvenile or adult) we think of something like these pictures:

Barb wired fences

Very lonely prison cells

Lots and lots of handcuffs

Or maybe it's just me who thinks about images like that.  Which is why I LOVE this facility and the program that they run (Positive Peer Culture).  They don't have a barb wired fence surrounding the facility.  They have one tall fence by the road to keep the juvenile's friends OUT.  And that was only recently put up in probably the last ten years.  They don't need to put a fence up because this program WORKS.  The program is built around juveniles helping each other.  That is why most programs fail.  They are built around helping only yourself and these teens don't want to help themselves.  They think they are fine and even though they may incarcerated there is no problem.  But from the moment these teens are placed in a PPC group, they are held responsible for the other nine people in the group. If they notice that another guy/girl is struggling with their Authority problem, they address it right then and there.  Doesn't matter if they are in the middle of gym class, if they notice that another in group is flipping other people off, they will stop and they talk about the problem.  They don't wait until group that afternoon, they address it right then.

Another aspect of this program is that while the staff is still in control and in charge, the juveniles are given responsibility.  If one of them tries to attack another, they will restrain that juvenile themselves and then hold them down until they calm down.  Whether it is five minutes or five hours.  They will stay there and restrain them (all nine holding down the one) until they are calm, they realize they messed up and as a group decide how to address and resolve the problem.  It is amazing. This program truly works, the recidivism rates (basically the rate of returning to prison) are very low.  I don't remember the exact statistics right now but they are much lower than other programs.

After the tour and learning how both the juveniles and the staff restrain (staff restrain mostly only in situations where they are put in danger themselves or where a juvenile is trying to run), we got to talk to a sex offender group.  Which I think made this experience even better for me for a couple reasons.  They were just normal teens who kept messing up.  I know I messed up a lot when I was a teenager.  Mine just weren't crimes.  We also got to ask them questions and get to see their perspective of everything.  One of the questions asked was how this program compared to other programs or facilities.  Every single one of them said that they liked this program way more than the others because they were held responsible for each other and that they had learned more.  One boy had been to I think he said four other programs and incarcerated for four years and he said that he had learned and changed more in his time at the JCC than they had in all the other programs combined.  I love this program and I am so grateful that I got to go visit the facility and learn more.  Just knowing about this program is going to make me a million times better as a social worker.

Oh and here is a link about PPC if my explanation didn't quite make sense. It is a quote straight from our textbook about it.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 7

07. Your favorite Prophet and why?

This one is way easy for me.  Gordon B. Hinckley. 

He is the only prophet I remember growing up. And for one of my Personal Progress projects I read his biography.  He is just such an inspirational man.  All the work he did for the Church is just amazing on so many levels.  Since the day, he got home from his mission he was working for the Church.  And then he was called to be a General Authority and devoted even more time and energy.  It was awesome to read his story.  Then to think of all the temples that were built during his leadership.  Goodness gracious, that is a lot of lives that were touched, a lot of families that were sealed, a lot of baptisms for those who had already passed.

And he was so positive until the day he died.  I loved it.  He lived to the age of 97 (and a half) and he never ever complained about getting older or the aches and pains that come with aging.  No, every single General Conference he got up in front of us with his warm smile and told a joke.  He was a little worker bee until the day he died.  And here I am only 21 and I definitely am a bum sometimes.  I am not nearly as productive as I should be.  And I complain way more than I should.  But President Hinckley was a million times better than me, that's why the Lord choose him to be the prophet :-)

Now to be fair, I also love President Monson but I don't know him as well.  I haven't gotten around to reading his biography yet and frankly, I am still getting a feel for him as our prophet and what his main goals will be.  But he is also a wonderful man who is just filled to the brim with wonderful stories and experience.  There are two things that have really stuck out to me so far since he was sustained as Prophet, Seer and Revelator.  The first is the Warm Fuzzies.  At his birthday, he said that the ideal birthday present from the Saints would be to "Find someone who is having a hard time or is ill or lonely, and do something for him or her." The next year for his birthday, he started getting letters and cards in the mail about all the service the Saints (especially Primary children) had done.  But his favorite was a large jar of warm fuzzies, each one representing an act of service the Primary children had done.  I love it, I would like to think that when I get to heaven, I will have my own very large jar full of warm fuzzies to give to my Heavenly Father as a gift to show him of all the love I shared with his other children.

Warm Fuzzies

The second thing that sticks out to me about President Monson's service so far is his constant reminder to listen to the Spirit and do service now!!  Technically that is two things that connects to the previous one but anyways, he is always telling of his service as a bishop to the elderly widows in his ward and how even after he was released he watched out for them.  And then there is the story of the one time he didn't heed the Spirit.  He stayed in a Church meeting til the end so as to not draw attention to himself leaving the stand early.  When he got to the hospital to visit the man he had been prompted to visit, the man had passed.  He had been calling for President Monson before he died.  What a heart-wrenching story that teaches us to listen to the Spirit and act immediately.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 6

06. Your favorite Book of Mormon scripture and why?

I absolutely LOVE, love, LOVE 1 Nephi 3:7.  It is truly inspiring to me and I think you will agree with me in a minute after you read this scripture:

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

So little bit of background information.  Lehi (Nephi's father) was told by the Lord to flee out of Jerusalem because of persecution and threats on his life.  His family gets far into the wilderness when the Lord tells him to send Nephi, Laman, Lemuel and Sam back to Jerusalem to retrieve the brass plates.  Laman and Lemuel were extremely opposed to this plan.  They knew their life would be in danger.  But Nephi says this to his father instead of murmuring.  He knew his life was in danger but he had faith that if the Lord commanded him to go somewhere, he wasn't going to allow him to be murdered in vain.  I love this commitment so much.

Tonight at Stake Conference, Elder Ringwood spoke to us.  He asked us all who our Book of Mormon hero was.  And the first thing that came to my mind was actually Nephi and this scripture.  He is my hero and my inspiration.  I can't wait to get to heaven and meet Nephi.  To get to talk to him and get to know him.  It would be wonderful to be friends with him.  To have Sunday evening dinner with him and his wife.  AMAZING!!

LDS Blog Challenge Day 5

Ok today is going to be a long post because I just can't decide :)

05. Your favorite Pearl of Great Price scripture and why?

I love the Articles of Faith.  They outline our religion and what we believe in thirteen simple little statements. I love it.

1 We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost. 2 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression. 3 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel. 4 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost. 5 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. 6 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth. 7 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth. 8 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. 9 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God. 10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. 11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may. 12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. 13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

This seems like a cop out easy answer though, so I want to share Moses 5:11 and Joseph Smith-History 1:20 because sometimes the best scriptures are just those that make you stop and think.

And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.

This scripture is super interesting to me.  Eve realized that they had to eat of the tree of life, they had to commit that sin in order to live full lives and be able to bring children into this world.  I absolutely love that we have a scripture that talks about Eve and Adam not just making a mistake and putting them in a "bad light."  Then there is Joseph Smith-History 1:20:

He again forbade me to join with any of them; and many other things did he say unto me, which I cannot write at this time. When I came to myself again, I found myself lying on my back, looking up into heaven. When the light had departed, I had no strength; but soon recovering in some degree, I went home. And as I leaned up to the fireplace, mother inquired what the matter was. I replied, “Never mind, all is well—I am well enough off.” I then said to my mother, “I have learned for myself that Presbyterianism is not true.” It seems as though the adversary was aware, at a very early period of my life, that I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom; else why should the powers of darkness combine against me? Why the opposition and persecution that arose against me, almost in my infancy?

I love the bolded part of this verse.  I ask myself how can I be "a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom?"  That has got to be the ultimate compliment.  I hope and pray that I can live my life in such a way that every morning when I wake up, Satan will say, "Oh, no she's awake."

Movin' on up..

to the next stage of my life.  Like I have said numerous times now, I am finishing up coursework and in April moving to North Dakota to be with my sweet husband again after a very long SIX months apart.  Well it seemed like a wonderful plan until I was faced with the challenge of finding an internship on my own.  If I was staying here the Social Work department would do everything in their power to help me find one but since I am going to North Dakota where they don't have any resources, I have to do ALL the legwork on my own.  My first attempt at getting an internship was to Google a few places in New Town and I contacted a few of them but the one I was most excited and hopeful for was the school district in the town where we are moving.   This attempt seemed to be working amazingly for me.  The administrator from the school district emailed me back and said that they were in the process of hiring a social worker which was perfect.  However, he had a lot of trouble finding housing and the last time I emailed the administrator, he still hadn't accepted the job and I needed him to be there six months or more in order to be an eligible supervisor with BYU-I's criteria.

So I was very disappointed but needed to continue on in my search.  So I made my second attempt.  This time I Googled actual job openings in the local area.  I found a job opening for a Juvenile Tracker which I was SUPER excited for because that is the population I really want to work with and it was paying.  So I emailed about the job and asked if there would be a Licensed Social Worker to supervise me.  To my great disappointment, I got an email about ten minutes later saying that they didn't have any social workers in their agency.

So I must admit, I gave up for a little while.  But this last week, I decided it was time to try again.  So I devoted most of my break in between classes yesterday emailing and contacting agencies left and right.  Which turned out to be only four places with two more potential once I printed out my resume and cover letter.  I felt like I had accomplished quite a bit and crossed my fingers that somebody, anybody would take me.  I am getting short on time and need to get this process going.  So you can imagine my excitement when I signed into my email this afternoon to find this:

Dear Nicole,

I received your email and actually would love to take you on if approved by my superiors, but my Masters is in Marriage and Family Therapy. The work I do with our agency also has professional counselors and social workers at the master’s level doing in cities all over the state. I do intensive in home family therapy. You would definitely get the hours you need working with me. We do have a lady in our office that has a bachelor’s in social work and she is a LSW. I have included her on this email. I am not sure if she is able to meet the requirements you are looking for, but I will also talk with her tomorrow when she returns to the office for you. Hopefully, this is helpful. If you have any more questions please feel free to give me a call or email me again.

I almost screamed in the very quiet computer lab in the Ricks building.  I was sooooo over the top excited.  It's not a definite opportunity but it is much closer to getting an internship than I was 24 hours prior.

So it would be with Lutheran Social Services of North Dakota.  Like she said in her e-mail I would be working with her doing in home family therapy.  The agency however, since there is a possibility I would be placed with somebody else does many things.  There website is amazing but it basically says that they "strive to strengthen individuals and communities by working to prevent child abuse and neglect, by helping troubled youth get back on track and providing addiction and mental health counseling and treatment. The agency also addresses community concerns such as hunger relief, the rural housing shortage and disaster recovery." I am so super excited.  It would be an amazing experience on so many levels.  I can't wait to hear back from her in the next few days to see what her co-worker says.  It would be wonderful to know where I will be in a few months and what I will be doing.  I am a person who likes to have a plan so the sooner I find out where I am placed and what agency will take me, the better.

I have been quite bitter lately about the fact that I have to go through this added stress and hard work when the others here in Rexburg get all the help humanly possible from the department: Internship Fair, added help if not offered a position, agencies are familiar with the university.  When I got that email it took a small weight off my chest and hopefully in the next few weeks that weight will be lifted completely when I get the email saying that her superiors have approved it, that her co-worker will supervise me, that the department has approved it and finally that the school has approved it.  Wish me luck, I'm going to need it!!

LDS Blog Challenge Day 4

Today's post is getting done early so that I won't forget and because I won't be home til at least 6:15 tonight. Got classes and a mandatory internship meeting and a meeting with my Populations at Risk group. What can I say, it's the busy life of a college senior? :-)

04. Your favorite D&C scripture and why?

The Doctrine and Covenants is just FULL of amazing scriptures just like all the other books.  I'm going to have to say it's a three way tie this time between D&C 18: 10-16:

Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;  For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.  And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.  And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!  Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people.  And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!  And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

This scripture holds a very special place in my heart.  For a few reasons.  The first being the first line of that scripture, "Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God" and then it goes on to talk about how the Savior died on the cross for each and every one of us individually.  No matter how much I dislike somebody, the Savior still loved them enough to die on the cross for their sins.  Who am I to treat them any differently or think of them as anything less than a Son or Daughter of our Heavenly Father?!?  The second reason I love this scripture is because of my dear husband.  He was my first "successful" missionary endeavor.  I had talked to other people about the church but he was the first one to fully accept the gospel.  It was a very long process for him.  He didn't grasp on for dear life right away and then there was some personal things that happened.  But eventually he entered the waters of baptism and became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  At his baptism, it really hit me that this man I love was taking the plunge and that I was the one who had forever changed his life and not just because he would be stuck with me forever as his wife.  And the last reason is my little brother on his mission in Salt Lake City.  He writes every week about the wonderful people that he is baptizing and I can only imagine the joy he will feel in heaven as he sees this sweet brothers and sisters again.

The second and third scriptures I love really go together.  D&C 58:2-4 and D&C 122:5-7:

For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.  Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.  For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.

If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea;  If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb;   And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

OK, I know this are super long scriptures but I just love them because the Lord tells Joseph Smith over and over in the Doctrine and Covenants that "Everything is going to be OK."  I can't even imagine the pain and discouragement Joseph, his wife Emma and the early Saints must have felt as they were tarred and feathered, beaten, their homes burned down, chased out of town after town and persecuted verbally.  But they endured to the end because they knew the Lord was on their side and that if they just kept on going they would make it to heaven and receive the greatest reward of all.  So it is really thought provoking to me to think of the things that I am going through.  Because as the first scriptures says, "after much tribulation come the blessings" and as the second one says, "these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."  And as I said in my post yesterday, I can already feel the blessings and greater experience that I am receiving from my current trial.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 3

And here is the second post for today to make up for yesterday.

03. Your favorite New Testament scripture and why?

One of my top ten is 1 Corinthians 10:13:

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it."

I absolutely love this scripture!!  The Lord never allows us to be faced with a bigger challenge than we can handle.  This stage of my life is supposed to be the happiest.  I am a newlywed.  I am approaching graduation from COLLEGE!!  But at the same time, it has been super hard for me.  Chris and I have spent of our marriage apart, just like we had to spend half of our courtship apart.  It's something that I try not to dwell on but when it is hard.  But you know what the Lord knows that I can get through this.  That I am tough and that I am way stronger than I look.  And already I can feel this experience making me a better wife and making my love and appreciation for Chris that much stronger.  The Lord knew what He was doing when He told us that this was the best decision for us.

There is a quote I believe from Mother Teresa that says, "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."  I love this and I firmly believe this quote and this scripture.  The Lord knows us better than anybody else including ourselves and as a result, He knows what we can handle and our lives have been planned accordingly before we were even born.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 2

So I missed yesterday so you get TWO today :-)

02. Your favorite Old Testament scripture and why?

This is a harder question for me because I didn't pay as much attention freshmen year when we covered the Old Testament.  But I would say Proverbs 3:5-6 is definitely up there in the top ten:

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.     In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

It is so important to remember the Lord in the good and bad times in our lives.  We need to be praying to him day and night.  In the morning to ask him to "direct our paths" and guide us to those people whose lives we need to touch that day, hold our hand during the speed bumps that day and give us those special blessings we may need. At night to thank him for his love, his guidance, comfort and other blessings that day as small as the person who smiled at us to helping us ace the test we were nervous about.  The Lord will always be there for us and we need to remember to thank him and talk to him.

LDS Blog Challenge Day 1

So I think by now, all my friends realize that I am pretty bad at posting on my blog. But I am showing slight improvements. Anyways, on Saturday I decided I was going to do one of those 30 day blog challenges. I picked one out and was going to start yesterday. But we had a really good sacrament meeting on how we should use technology as a missionary tool so I wanted to do an LDS blog challenge and was VERY disappointed to only find one when I Googled it. So since I am not creative enough to make up my own, you get the only one I could find :-P I got it from this blog.

01. When did you (or your ancestors) become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? What has this membership meant to you?

Well my Daddy joined the church in 1986 I believe. For some reason, I can't remember right now.. But I am pretty sure it was 1985 or 1986. I officially joined the church July 27, 1997. I cried like a baby and didn't want to because of my fear/dislike of water my whole life. Which is embarrassing to admit but it's true. My parents finally coaxed me in and it is definitely in the top ten of best decisions of my life. I wish I had the pictures from that day but they are at home in Wisconsin. And Chris joined the church on June 6, 2009. And I do have the pictures from that day :-)

What has this membership meant to me?  Well it has meant a whole lot to me. It has affected every single aspect of my life.  How I dress.  How I act.  How I dated.  Where I got married.  My family growing up.  What I ate.  What I drank.  How I lived my life in general.  When I was 16 years old, I got my patriarchal blessing.  I cried the day I got it because the Spirit was so strong in that room and every time since when I read it, I feel the Spirit and different parts of it stick to me.  Because they are what the Lord needs me to focus on at that point in my life.  Or it's what I need to hear at that moment to feel the love of my Heavenly Father and feel the comfort of a strong spiritual hug from the man who created me.  Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has taught me who I am, why I am here on this Earth and where I am going after this life.  It makes life a kazillion times easier when you know those three things.

And the last way I can think of right now that being a member has affected me is when my grandfather died last year.  I have always had a hard time with good-byes whether it be for a few months or for the rest of my life as is the case with the death of a loved one.  But I can honestly say that his death was the "easiest" for me because I had really grown in my testimony that I would see him again and that he was in heaven happy and free of pain.  I knew that he was with his mom and his son again.  And so his death was still very hard and very painful but I got through it because of my testimony of the gospel and of the Plan of Salvation.

Happy Valentine's Day

As you can imagine, this morning was very difficult for me. I was the only married person that I knew waking up on Valentine's Day without her husband. To add to my pain and sadness was the fact that Chris also wasn't here for our Six Month "monthiversary" or the year marker since he proposed to me. I would be lying if I said that I didn't cry like a baby. That I didn't want to just skip school today and stay home and eat all the ice cream and junk food that I could find. But deep down I knew that it wouldn't do me any good and that I had responsibilities. Chris didn't leave me here in Rexburg by myself to fail my classes and not finish my coursework so I could be back with him. So, I wiped away my tears and I got ready to face what I expected to be a very hard day. And I was right it did have it's hard moments. Like walking past all these happy couples and seeing the happy stand to buy roses and things for the love of your life. But you know what it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. My Social Work friends are AMAZING. And Michelle, bless her heart realized that I was alone and she just gave me the sympathy I needed and joked about how we would all skip class and go celebrate my Valentine's Day. Obviously, we didn't skip class but just knowing that people care about me and try to cheer me up meant way more than any celebration we could have had.

And then I came home to this:


I am pretty much a sappy emotional girl to begin with but add in a major holiday, a husband being hundreds of miles away and probably a slight bit of depression; and this pretty much put me on the verge of tears. As you can tell there is no indication of who it is from but I loved it. It really made me feel so much better. Somebody thought of me and took the time to come and leave a little love for me on my door. And I'm sure they had no idea how much it would mean to me.

I'm Much Too Young to Fill This Dang Old

My last year has just been changes after changes after changes every few months. Almost a year ago, my little brother turned into a man in my eyes. On February 3, he reported to the MTC and it was weird for a long time not being able to talk to him whenever I wanted. Not being able to text him. Not being able to make him come to my apartment and hang out with me. My little brother and I have always been pretty close. It was always just the two of us. And yea, we fought like cats and dogs growing up and our parents would send us to our rooms until further notice. But I guarantee you, it take long for us to open our doors and play very quietly from our doors so Mom and Dad wouldn't hear us. Our rooms were right across the hall from each other and we got bored playing by ourselves. Which is exactly what Mom and Dad had in mind when they tried Baby #2, they wanted me to have somebody to play with. So, even though, I had disliked him just a little while earlier, my need for my friend was stronger and I would forgive him for being a brat and he would forgive me for being a jerk.


And then less than two weeks later (February 13), the best man to ever enter my life asked me to be his wife. We had been engaged before but this one was more real to me because this time I knew I wouldn't be breaking it off. I knew that this man was going to be the man I was going to spend ETERNITY with. We were finally both the people we needed to be for that happen. And this time, we were engaged for two months before I left for school. I had an amazing FHE family and it became a small joke in our "family" for Brian to say, "You're getting married?!?!? Well congrats!!" like he had never heard the news before. It always made me laugh and really made my engagement feel real. It was really going to happen. And so I had to start thinking about the future I was about to start with this man, not just as his girlfriend, not just as his best friend, not just as his fiancee, but as his WIFE and the MOTHER of his children. And I don't know if guys notice this but when you get engaged, they interact with you differently. They open up. They no longer worry about you thinking that they like you just because they talk to you. It was quite a change. Guys weren't nervous anymore and it was hilarious. However, even though we had been together for over two years and I knew I would Chris and I would end up together, nothing and I mean NOTHING prepared me for the next phase of my life.

On August 12, I became Mrs. Nicole Marie Schwuchow. And I have never smiled (or cried) that much in my life. I was head-over-heels in love and over the moon excited and happy. But it wasn't long before the honeymoon was over and we had to come back down to earth and face reality. Reality #1: We were moving in less than a month and had pack up EVERYTHING in his apartment and a good chunk of the bedroom I had lived in for the majority of my life (over 15 years) and move to our own place hundreds of miles away from ANY family. Reality #2: I had to change my name which is just one of this processes that seems to take FOREVER and NEVER go smoothly. Then came the looooooong as heck process of changing my name. Oh my, I have never had more people ask me, "How do you say that?" and I have never enjoyed watching people struggle as much as when they looked at my name and very slowly pronounced it wrong. The DMV was the most difficult seeing as Chris's full name is much too long to fit on a marriage license. Reality #4: This might be a little too much info for some people but once you are married and given the green light to be intimate with the person you love more than anything, it brings along other certain constants. Or atleast a constant in my married life... Every single month, even though I'm on the pill, I got paranoid that this might be the month where I find out that I am pregnant. I am a very paranoid person who jumps to the "worst" scenario. So since I know the pill is only 99% effective at preventing pregnancy, I was always concerned that I would be at 1% who ended up pregnant on the pill. Crazy thought, I know but that is my brain and my life. But lucky me, Reality #5 eventually led to change number five came just in time to stop this monthly concern. Reality #5 was that money does not grow on trees and the economy was not going to work in our favor. Chris worked VERY hard upon our arrival in Rexburg to find a good job as a trucker and be able to support our new little family. But there was few small problems, one being that Chris lacks a ton of behind-the-wheel experience. He went to a school that prides themselves on giving plenty of behind-the-wheel experience but everybody wanted over five years experience and he only had four weeks of all-day experience. So, we had to put aside our pride and apply for Food Stamps which was a humbling experience but also a very good experience for me as a growing Social Worker, I was on the other side of the desk receiving the news that I didn't qualify for Food Stamps. Lucky for us, Chris did and we spent the next few months on Food Stamps until....

Change five!! Chris got a job at the local-ish potato factory but he just wasn't making enough money for us to pay off all the pre-marriage debt that had accumulated. So while he worked his butt all day long, he was on the look-out for a better job that would help us become more financially stable. Well, the call came from my brother-in-law, Chris's brother that there was an opening for a propane truck driver at the same company he works for. So, that next weekend, we hoped in our pick-up truck and drove up to North Dakota for Chris's job interview. That day Chris was offered the job. I prayed long and hard and shedded many, many tears rivaled only by my wedding day. We discussed the pros and cons and decided that while it would stink on rice to be apart that long (November to April), it was for the best and we would be that much closer to being financially stable and by the time I was done with classes, he would be very stable in this new position. So, we made the arrangements and Chris was packed up and ready to leave a few short weeks later. I would be lying through my crooked teeth, if I told you life has been easy being away from the man I love after only three months of marriage. It was HECK!! And I cried and cried and cried. And I contemplated not coming back after Thanksgiving. But it has been a good experience for both of us. It has made us stronger and we both are where we need to be. I do envy every couple I see on campus or at Church that is happy and holding hands and the guy has his arm around his girlfriend/fiance/wife. But again, I appreciate Chris and everything he does for me when we are together and apart that much more because I know what life is like being alone without him. Not having him here to jump my car when the battery dies. Not having him here to flush the dead fish because it makes me so sad having to drop that dead fish down the toilet. Not having him here to fix all my problems. I married a really, really good and amazing man and I couldn't luckier. And life will be PERFECT again in about 77 days :-)

Change number six has not exactly happened yet but I have a feeling tomorrow morning is going to turn my life, Chris's life and our marriage upside down. And we will never be the same again. And let me just tell you all six of these changes have made me feel much younger and much older than I am. And I'm not sure I was ever properly prepared for any of them but the Lord is watching over me and over Chris and over our marriage and no matter what tomorrow morning brings, I know we will be ok.

My last thought for tonight really has nothing to do with these changes or the last year. But for the first time last night, I got VERY passionate in my Populations at Risk class. I have a very close friend who will forever be labelled as a sex offender because of a "mistake" he made at 18 years old. He will be haunted the rest of his life and labelled even though he has done his time, he has repented, he has joined the church and he has moved on with his life. He is happily married but when people look at him, they will still see the 18 year old who slept with his girlfriend who was two years than him. Not a crime except that he was an adult and she wasn't. He's not a criminal. He's not dangerous AT ALL. But he is put that category and people (even social workers 90% of the time) don't think about people like him. It bothers me more than anything when other Social Work students say, "I can't work with sex offenders." They are more than just the label, they are people too. With a past. With a family. With a freakin' future. Please don't just look at the label and write them off as not worth your time and energy. I'm not saying that there aren't creeps out there but not all of them are. Some just made a bad decision. Some had a bad childhood. They were sexually abused themselves. I hope and pray that I never turn into that Social Worker who puts on blinders and doesn't help people who are screaming for their help to change their life. While I feel passionate about this, it's not the population I am most passionate about helping. I want to help the youth, help them before it's too late. Before they are a full-blown sex offender, before they are a full-blown murderer, before they are a full-blown drug addict. I feel I can do this. But I also will work my darnedest to NEVER have a problem helping anybody regardless of their past. I hope all my friends and family that read this blog will the same.

"We do not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves." Lynn Hall