Sorry but I need to vent for a lil bit... I got yet another "doubt response" today. It hurts to have the people you love not approve of the decisions you're making. Especially when it's one of the biggest, greatest decisions that you have ever made in your life. People act like I haven't thinking every day for the last three months about my future with him. We've discussed kids, names, when, everything. We've discussed money. We've discussed me finishing school. We've discussed when we want to get married. We've discussed the limitations on our physical interaction before and after we're married. We've discussed where we're going to live and have actually found an apartment already. We've looked into jobs for him out here in Idaho. We've discussed the financial restraints and benefits once we're married. We've discussed what we expect from each other in raising our family and making a home. We're not just rushing into this, I promise. I've thought about it, I've prayed about it, I know I want to be with him forever. We have gotten to know each other as much as possible in the six months that we've been together and the distance while I've been here has not hurt our relationship, it's strengthed it! I know that I don't want to be apart from him anymore than I need to be and that he's the man I want by my side for all eternity. And while I do appreciate everybody's prayers and thoughts about my life, at the end of the day, it's me who is getting married not everybody else. I am the one who has to live with the consquences if things don't work out, BUT THEY WILL WORK OUT!!!
Now time to gush, I love Chris with all of my heart. I can't imagine my life without him. He's absolutely wonderful. He respects me and my decisions. He encourages me when I'm down. He's tough on me but only because he knows that I can do sooo much more than I am. He has seen me at my worst. In tears not wanting to get on that plane and not feel his embrace for three to four months at a time and he can still look me in the eye at that moment and tell me that I'm beautiful. And I believe him!!! When I look him in the eye, I can tell I'm all that matters to him. I can see that love and it makes me cry to know that anybody can love me that much. Me, with all of my flaws, most of which he has already seen and yet he still wants to spend forever with me. He knows my cooking needs plenty of improvement and yet he still eats it and wants me to cook for him. He just gives me a big hug when I mess up and says that we'll work on it together. I love him sooo much! He's my everything.
As many people know, he's not a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints like I am. But he knew how much the Church means to me so he started reading the scriptures with me, the going to church with me, then taking the missionary discussions, then praying with me. It started out as something to make me happy but it has now become something he's doing for himself. And I have never been prouder of him. We could get married this winter while I'm home off-track. However, he wanted to prove to me that if we got married civilly, he would take me to the temple asap. So, he's getting baptized in December/January and we're getting married in August instead.
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